No one really, truly prepares you for the things life throws in your face. People try to warn you, but nothing actually sets you up for those moments when you're just living day by day and then BOOM. All at once, everything comes crumbling down. I guess I'm being a little dramatic. Nothing has crumbled for me, but making decisions that will permanently effect the way my life goes is so freaking stressful.


If you're new here or don't know all of the crazy stuff happening in my life, let me give you a quick update.

Before I finished my AAS degree in photography from Iowa Central this year, I decided that I was going to graduate and move to Ames, Iowa to start the adulting life. I had everything planned out. I found a perfect place to live, signed a lease, and had started searching for jobs. Skip forward 4-5 months later, I randomly decide I like accounting and want to continue my schooling at Iowa Central some day. Maybe a year from now, maybe two. Here's the catch though...the program is free and it may not be free one year from now. How could I pass up the chance to take a free program to better my future? Short answer, I can't. So, I blow up my plans to move and confuse everybody around me. I had just spent 4 months of my life telling everyone how excited I was to start this new chapter in a different town and all of that was flushed down the drain by me being abrupt and indecisive.


Now, I'm currently in a struggling battle to get out of my lease that I was so eager to sign. Still wanting to become independent, I've been looking for a place to reside that I can afford while going to school full time and still wanting to be involved in performing. I found a decent, affordable place that I can live, but I can't really move my entire life in there and make myself comfortable only to have to move to Ames if I can't find someone to take over my lease. My lease will start August 1, 2023. If I can't find someone by then, I have to forfeit my dream to continue school this year and find a last minute job in Ames to support myself while living there. There's absolutely nothing wrong with Ames and if I could afford to live there and still take advantage of a free program, I would...no questions asked.


If worse comes to worse, I can take a year in Ames to breathe and figure things out, then come back to Iowa Central. I potentially lose the opportunity of a free program, but maybe that's just not meant to be. Ultimately, if I knew the program would be free in a year, I wouldn't even hesitate...that's the exact plan I would go with. I'm just the kind of person that needs answers now. I need to learn how to be patient and let life take its course, I just can't seem to figure out how to do that.


So, here are my pros and cons about each situation:


Ames

Pros:

  • Amazing roommates and a nicer environment/place to live in
  • Opportunity to make more money than I have been for a little while
  • Take a break from school and focus on myself and my life
  • Don't have to worry about paying money to get out of my lease and finding someone to fill my spot

Cons:

  • No Iowa Central (at least for a year), might lose out on a free program
  • I would have to leave an amazing job with amazing people
  • No performing on stage for a little while :(
  • Starting over with a new client base for my photography business


Fort Dodge

Pros:

  • Iowa Central, a free accounting program that could set up a very successful future for myself
  • Stay at the amazing job that I'm currently at
  • Keep my current client base for my business and be in an environment filled with people I know
  • I can continue to perform for a few years
  • Stay close to family, but become more independent
  • Overall, more opportunities for me to be able to grow as a person and a business and not have to move out of town only to move back

Cons:

  • Not the shiniest, most beautiful environment to live in, but very affordable and an amazing roommate
  • Having to fish out money and find someone to take over my lease in Ames before August, plus still pay rent at my new place



So there it is....see why I'm so stressed? How do I decide? I guess I'll just have to practice a little patience.